A Letter to the San Francisco Chronicle

Dear Ms. Colliver,

I wanted to write to complain about your article regarding the misconceptions of the health care debate, located at:

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/08/17/MNT4198FQ4.DTL&type=politics

You see, in my workplace, my co-workers have been virtually split down the middle on the issue of health care, however, neither side seems fully informed on just what it is congress is working on. This has in turn made my workplace into the amateur Michael Crichton/Aldous Huxley plot ideas forum, to which I have derived much entertainment from. Proponents shout that they long for days when they can walk simply walk into a hospital and be showered with prescription medications and MRI’s, while opponents claim the government is going to subject them to abortions and genetic engineering. This back and forth water cooler banter has given me much entertainment in what would otherwise be a lame summer dedicated to stories about family vacations and overdue home improvement projects.

Other news outlets have been more than happy to provide more fuel to this sci-fi thriller of health care and I am disappointed that the San Francisco Chronicle is more concerned about “facts” rather than ramping up my mundane workday. Personally, I would have preffered an article about how government health care could possibly be based on the millitary model of health insurance. Then the health care naysayers can argue that they don’t want their health plans to turn them into genetically enhanced space marines, and reformers can counter by saying that everyone deserves to be a space marine.

The point I am trying to make is that writing articles about facts and trying to “sort out” some of the floating misconceptions of health care just isn’t conducive to helping me get out of sitting through a slideshow of my coworkers photos from orlando. Instead, I think the Chronicle should give in to the hype and begin writing speculative articles about what could be in health care legislation, or if the staff is feeling a bit uncreative, simply begin interviewing the pundits on cable news (who are always full of zany ideas). In any case, I hope you will exercise better discretion in the future, especially when all the summer movie blockbusters have been mediocre at best.

Tags: healthcare, letters, medical, satire